Why I don't have 'girlfriends'..... THEY LIE.

Honestly, there are very few woman I have met that I have liked. Why? Because most girls are jealous and conniving. They love to ruin relationships too... When they see someone happy and they are not, then OH NO, here comes the green monster... JEALOUSY. So, as the saying goes.. "Misery loves company" they try to ruin the good you have that they themselves don't. THAT is why I hate girls, and THAT is why I don't have many girlfriends.... Most girls are the same... SOME grow up, most stay the same... I can tell you that honestly I have only met a handful of girls that I actually trust and have good relationships with.. Which is sad, but Lord knows I'm blessed to have that because good girlfriends are hard to find... Good PEOPLE are hard to find...

I have had so many issues with girls in my lifetime is disgusting and sad... I am so glad that I have been able to see through most of the bullshit.. But some girls are really good at what they do. It makes me sad to see people wasting time and energy on bullshit. I try not to let petty things get to me, especially when it comes to females.. But in some cases you can't really help it. Like I said in my last post it's hard to ignore the bad when it effects you so much. I'm not a perfect person, but I tell you what... I have NEVER hurt ANYONE just to hurt them or be mean. EVER. I mean, sometimes I have my bitchy female moments and I say stupid things I don't mean but I never intentionally hurt anyone. That to me is despicable and repulsive. It literally makes me sick to my stomach when I hear or encounter things like this.

...Another thing that bothers me... Is people who judge people... If you don't agree with something someone is doing, as long as it is not hurting another person or themselves.. WHY DO YOU CARE?! Honestly?... Think about that... HARD.. Because if you do THAT, i'm sure your common sense is gone or never existed so it would be hard for you to think of the answer... So i'll tell you the answer... The reason why you probably judge people is because YOU yourself are miserable and/or you are jealous of the persons you are judging. End of story. I know i'm right. People are all too easy to read. I might sound ignorant but i've found my common sense and knowledge I have gained by watching people and actually putting myself in other peoples shoes I see through most people and their bullshit and it's saved me more heartbreak than a person can stand.. All though I still have seen my share of heartbreak through, physical relationship and just friendships no one is completely aware of all bullshit. 

Phew.... That is all from the mind of me today... 

Where to begin?...

So here I am... Awake... Waiting for my daughter to fall asleep. But that's not why I can't sleep. I have too much on my mind. Like always... I am super glad it's not as late as it feels... Right now, I can't stop thinking about what will be happening next month... My Husband will be leaving to go to Tech school for the Military.. I am super sad. I really can't stand thinking about him leaving again. This will be better than the first time he left, when it was for boot camp. THAT was horrible. Things weren't planned out well, bills were a pain, money was too tight, and I was so miserable. But this time should be better, he can ACTUALLY talk to me... Whenever he wants for the most part... I... think..... I keep trying to think of the good things that will come of it, and how I know I can handle it.. But it's hard to focus on the 'good' when the 'bad' effects you so much. 

The good from him leaving will be that we will be getting a decent 'bonus' when he comes back. And then most of his bills will be paid off. That's about it! LOL... I know I will be better this time because friendships I've had have grown more within the last few months and I feel like I will be surrounded more by people who will help with the time. Plus I have a job... First one in three years??? Pretty redic! That's a whole other story and too long for my eyes to type tonight.. Yes, my eyes type.. It's amazing.. :) Anyway... I am sure I could keep blabbing on here for hours... It's something that comes easy to us females... We think non-stop and talk non-stop. I'll be the first to admit it. So hopefully this blog can help ease my filled mind and let it rest up a bit when I need it.

Anyway... More thoughts.... So I have been having some BAD 'baby fever' lately. All I think about is having another little one... 1/2 me and 1/2 my Hubby! I know my daughter will be the best big sister ever. She is the sweetest thing anyway and so helpful as it is. To me though, it's horrible because I feel like some people will be negative about it.. But honestly, it's like "is this YOUR life?? NO. It's not..." But stupid me cares still what people think... Pathetic? Probably. But it's just the way I am. I could sit here all day and say that I don't care... But I do. Not too the extreme like I used to, but I do have this thing where I like to please people and put their needs and wants before mine... That sometimes makes me a punching bag to some people, and/or people take advantage of me. I'm also one of those annoying people who always thinks 'you' are mad at me... I can't help it. And I know it agitates some people... But I guess i'm just insecure.. Anyway..I think i'll be done for today... Who knows where my mind will take us tomorrow. Adios!