Where to begin?...

So here I am... Awake... Waiting for my daughter to fall asleep. But that's not why I can't sleep. I have too much on my mind. Like always... I am super glad it's not as late as it feels... Right now, I can't stop thinking about what will be happening next month... My Husband will be leaving to go to Tech school for the Military.. I am super sad. I really can't stand thinking about him leaving again. This will be better than the first time he left, when it was for boot camp. THAT was horrible. Things weren't planned out well, bills were a pain, money was too tight, and I was so miserable. But this time should be better, he can ACTUALLY talk to me... Whenever he wants for the most part... I... think..... I keep trying to think of the good things that will come of it, and how I know I can handle it.. But it's hard to focus on the 'good' when the 'bad' effects you so much. 

The good from him leaving will be that we will be getting a decent 'bonus' when he comes back. And then most of his bills will be paid off. That's about it! LOL... I know I will be better this time because friendships I've had have grown more within the last few months and I feel like I will be surrounded more by people who will help with the time. Plus I have a job... First one in three years??? Pretty redic! That's a whole other story and too long for my eyes to type tonight.. Yes, my eyes type.. It's amazing.. :) Anyway... I am sure I could keep blabbing on here for hours... It's something that comes easy to us females... We think non-stop and talk non-stop. I'll be the first to admit it. So hopefully this blog can help ease my filled mind and let it rest up a bit when I need it.

Anyway... More thoughts.... So I have been having some BAD 'baby fever' lately. All I think about is having another little one... 1/2 me and 1/2 my Hubby! I know my daughter will be the best big sister ever. She is the sweetest thing anyway and so helpful as it is. To me though, it's horrible because I feel like some people will be negative about it.. But honestly, it's like "is this YOUR life?? NO. It's not..." But stupid me cares still what people think... Pathetic? Probably. But it's just the way I am. I could sit here all day and say that I don't care... But I do. Not too the extreme like I used to, but I do have this thing where I like to please people and put their needs and wants before mine... That sometimes makes me a punching bag to some people, and/or people take advantage of me. I'm also one of those annoying people who always thinks 'you' are mad at me... I can't help it. And I know it agitates some people... But I guess i'm just insecure.. Anyway..I think i'll be done for today... Who knows where my mind will take us tomorrow. Adios!